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breasts

Do Boobs and Motorcycles mix?

Thursday, December 20th, 2012 RIDING Comments Off on Do Boobs and Motorcycles mix?

Find out what the doctors aren't telling you.

It was a beautiful summer day in June when I found myself sliding down Fairfax Blvd face down for twenty five feet when a million thoughts rushed into my head, “Crap, I’m going down. Wow, how weird the asphalt looks sliding by my visor. Thank heavens
I’m wearing my motorcycle gear.” I popped up in the middle of traffic in shock and walked away from my motorcycle to the sidewalk in a daze. Waiting for the paramedics as onlookers congregated around me gave me a chance to assess my injuries. My right shoulder and foot took the brunt of the impact, but everything else seemed ok. I thought I was lucky to walk away from my first motorcycle accident
with just a broken collar bone and broken big toe. It was not until a year later that I started to feel the effects of silicone poisoning.

It was back in 1988 when I was 24 that I made the decision to transform my body into something that it was not. I was very athletic, very sensual, and loved my body. But, for some reason I was born into a time that gave women easy access to change the way they looked, especially when living in Los Angeles. I wondered what it would feel like to match my sensuality with a womanly figure. No one else was involved in my decision, so it was just fascinating to witness my emotional process through the whole thing. I thought my emotional state before and after the surgery was a healthy body image. I had fun and thoroughly enjoyed it both without and with the new breasts. The decision wasn’t to
improve my self image. It was to enjoy a new experience.

Three weeks ago the silicone poisoning ramped up from the ruptured implant due to the accident. I got bad headaches, and felt a burning sensation from my breast that spread into the entire chest cavity. After mining the internet for facts regarding silicone poisoning, I was not shocked to find details that weren’t shared with me by the surgeon when I first got them. Silicone is made up of major neurotoxins and carcinogens, which is a recipe for ill health even when they don’t rupture http://www.jussta.com/recipe_for_death.htm). There are many women who have suffered from autoimmune diseases immediately after the implants were put in, but the medical community has refused to link them. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry, and that’s a hell of a lot of hush money.

After going in to get my symptoms checked out, my doctor scheduled an MRI to confirm her diagnosis of a rupture. The MRI came back positive for silicone leakage. Luckily, I was immediately referred to Dr. David Sayah, one of the top plastic
surgeons in Beverly Hills in my opinion, to perform the removal of the implants right away. I felt so out of place walking into that gorgeous marble-lined office fresh out of the tv show “Nip Tuck.” How the hell did I get sucked into this merry-go-round, anyway?

Right now for me at age 48, I am more concerned about health than ego. I enjoyed my wonderful experience with the bigger breasts for 24 years, but am very happy to embrace the old me and a healthy body. I have decided not to replace them,
because I’m ready to feel the energy in my body in its purest form without the interference of any foreign matter inside. I’m feeling some big energy flow through my body these days, and much of the time it surfaces as vibration in my feet. Other times it shoots through my body in pulses or strong waves during meditation. I’m ready for the next phase of my life that includes a more spiritually sensual embrace of my body.

As I look at my body in the mirror after surgery, I find myself exploring all of the new emotions that are surging forward. I had identified myself with these breasts for all of my adult life, so I’m allowing myself to feel all of the emotions that go with the process of letting them go. To be perfectly honest, I’m going through a mourning phase right off the bat. It almost feels as if I’ve had a double mastectomy, and am currently really missing them. But, I am walking away with a stronger emotion that overrides it all, and that is the excitement I’m feeling about a healthy body with beautiful energy that others can feel. At the end of the day, isn’t the beauty always found from within, anyway?

 

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